Little Miss Gracie's Arrival

Well we made it through the first week since little Miss Gracie has joined our family!!

Last Monday, I was induced (a week earlier than my due date) due to high blood pressure. We went in at 7 in the morning and got settled into our room-

It was strange to be so calm and relaxed going in, since I went into the hospital in full labor with Tanner.

Once we settled in, the nurse checked me and I was close to 3cm dilated. She then started me on Pitocin around 8 and for the next 4 hours, things moved VERY slowly. We were bored out of our minds. I had to be hooked up to continuous monitors due to the Pitocin, so we could only walk down the hall and back or the monitors lost reception.

The doctor came back to check on me around 12:45 and I was only to 3.5cm dilated. I asked her to break my water hoping things would move a little more quickly.

Before we had Tanner, Trevor and I had taken a natural childbirth class in hopes of going all natural with him. Fortunately, I went into the hospital at 7cm with Tanner and was fully dilated within 2 hours so I didn't have the choice of an epidural. This time around, I didn't know how things would go- I knew that contractions can be a lot stronger when controlled by Pitocin. I also knew that things could move very slowly. My worst fear in everything was ending up having to have a C-section if things didn't progress. Because of this, I was more determined to wait it out as long as possible without an epidural, giving me time to walk and use the birthing ball to help labor progress.

Almost immediately after the doctor broke my water, the contractions got much stronger. I got out of bed and sought the relief of the birthing ball and different positions to ease the pain. By the time I asked for the epidural- it was too late (of course!) The nurse told me that I still had to receive another bag of fluids before they could give me an epidural, and the soonest the fluids could go would be an hour. She had just checked me and I was at 6.5cm and knew that once I hit 7, things would go quickly and I would be too far to get it anyways.

So- I braced myself for what was to come. Luckily, Trevor was an AWESOME support. He talked me through each contraction and massaged my back during each one. I opted to have some nubain in hopes of taking the edge off of the contractions. I don't think it worked. Although, it made me SUPER tired, so in between contractions I would fall asleep- it was quite strange.

Within 2 hours of my water breaking, I could tell I was getting close to pushing. I told the nurse I was feeling a lot of pressure. She reassured me that I still had a little bit of time since she had just checked me and I was at an 8. The next contraction I told her it was time to push. She checked me and sure enough, I was at a 10! She called the doctor and told her to hurry over. It was a good thing because I started pushing the second she walked in and only pushed for 4 minutes before we got to meet our sweet little Gracie at 3:04 p.m.- I was a bit emotional- okay, maybe a lot emotional.

I was so happy to finally hold her- I felt so much love already for her. She looked just like Tanner when she came out and still does! She was a little bigger than he was- weighing in at 8lbs 1oz and 19.5 inches long.

So far the transition from one to two kids has been pretty smooth. This is probably because she sleeps almost all day :> Tanner loves his little sister and is constantly giving her kisses or trying to give her her binky. I hope they grow up to be good friends.


 Trevor is back to work after a week off, so the real challenge of having two kids begins :> I love being a mom and am so blessed to have two beautiful children and a great husband to help raise them.

Happy Father's Day!

Today is such a wonderful day!! It is a chance for us to celebrate on all of the great fathers out there and the impact they have had on our lives.

I was especially blessed with a great dad. He has taught me many things- how to clean a bathroom the right way, how to really work, and how to choose good things (entertainment, friends, talents, etc), and how to enjoy nature. Perhaps one of the best things my dad has taught me however, was to love and serve the way Christ did and still does- for that I am so grateful.

I didn't always give my dad the respect he deserved and am sad sometimes when I think about how I was towards him growing up. He has made a lot of changes in his life to bless his family. If I can be anything like my dad, I know Heavenly Father would be proud. So Happy Father's Day - I am blessed to call you "Dad".

I am also VERY blessed to be married to a wonderful husband who is also an amazing father. Being a dad has come so natural to him. I love watching him start to teach Tanner important things like how to say prayers, read scriptures, and say please and thank you. His example as a dad teaches me how to be patient and how to enjoy the little joys of parenting. I have heard the saying that the greatest thing a dad can do for his children is to love their mother. If this is so, Trevor has already given the greatest gift he can as a dad. He has never lifted his hand to me in anger, raised his voice in argument, or failed to respect me as a daughter of Heavenly Father. I couldn't have asked for a better man to be mine forever. I love you and know Tanner and our future children and blessed to call you "Dad".

The Important Things

Tonight, it is just me and puppy Zoe. Tanner went to have a sleepover at Trevor's parent's house and Trevor is at work. Soooo quiet.

The one thing I should probably not do when I am by myself is watch movies that make me cry. There is a new show- "The Heart of Christmas" that I watched tonight and cried through the whole thing. It is based on a true story of a boy named Dax who was diagnosed with a very aggressive form of Leukemia. After a couple transplants that were unsuccessful, his parents were told there was nothing else they could do for their son.

Knowing that their son probably wouldn't make it to Christmas, they decorated, and celebrated around Halloween. He died a few weeks later. This is a picture of him-  he was only two.

Now that I am a mom, shows like these aren't just sad. They are a reminder of how precious life is, and how real situations like this can be.

How can a parent lose a child? How do they ever go on? How do you watch your child suffering and there be nothing you can do to ease their pain? How can you hold them in your arms knowing that it could be the last?

It is something I hope I never have to experience- I don't know if I could do it.

While watching the movie, I thought of the Savior. And while Christmas is a time to celebrate His birth, I find it hard to not also remember His death. Even though He was an adult,Mary watched her son die. She saw Him suffer, knowing there was nothing she could do. Heavenly Father graciously gave the life of His Son, for us, for me. He too, watched His Son suffer, and die. What a gift, that I often take for granted.

I am so grateful for this season. For the reminders I have to remember what is really important in life. My family, faith, friends, and my Savior. I am quick to forget this often as life gets busy and I get wrapped up in the things of this world.

I am so grateful to know that no matter what happens, I will be with my family forever- FOREVER! What sweet peace this brings me, and what an amazing blessing.

I love my husband, and can't imagine, without breaking down to tears, what life would be like without him.

I love my son. He is the most beautiful human I know- so innocent and full of love. I love that he gives me big kisses, that he laughs, and smiles, and brings joy to our life.

I am so blessed, and want to make a more dilligent effort to remember these blessings everyday- that I might not take them for granted like I have. For in the end, all that will really matter, are the important things.

Venting Session

Today I need to vent. I am pregnant. Trevor and I had plans to wait to tell family/friends for various reasons. However, it's almost impossible to do because my body and pregnancy (at least for the first trimester) hate each other. Like with the last two pregnancies, morning sickness hit around 6 weeks. Except, it isn't just morning sickness, it's all day, 24/7, seven days a week sickness. Needless to say, it gets pretty old ... fast. Last week at work, I had to leave early two days because I was hardly functioning and productive unless it meants sitting in front of the toilet.

So, I start my regimen of IV fluids and anti-nausea medication when needed. Unfortunately, this doesn't last too long, and its a matter of hours until I feel nauseas again. So, I can't really work. But, I would have to go unpaid if I take time off and my job is unprotected. We can't afford for me not to work, or to not have a job. I don't know what to do.

And perhaps the most frustrating thing is that I know people think I am making this up, exaggerating, crazy, etc. Yeah, I choose to throw up all day, I choose to feel like crap and to get dehydrated, constipated, and need to go in to the hospital throughout the week. All cause, it sounds so fun. Yes, I choose to have to go home early from work so I can run out of PTO, be broke, and stress about how we are going to pay the bills.

Well, that feels a bit better to just vent. Now off to figure out how to make it all work...

Clever Tricks of the T man

The T man is a clever kid. Whoever said babies don't know a whole lot hasn't met my son. From sunup to sundown he is always showing off all of his MANY clever tricks. This is how a normal day goes for this busy boy-

8:00 am- Tanner wakes up and this is what he looks like, so innocent.

Little would you know, he has a surprise for you.. in his pants. He has a poopy diaper and has filled it with urine to the brim. I start to change him and as soon as the dirty diaper is off, he thinks we are done. So, he starts to go on with his busy day- naked. I put him back in place and hand him my phone to play with. As soon as I put the powder on him he flips over and starts trying to crawl off the bed creating a trail of powder dust as he goes.

9:00 am- Time for breakfast. He is sooo hungry right? So I put him in his highchair and as soon as there is food on his tray, he doesn't want it. Instead, as soon as I turn around to do something, he quietly and ever so nicely drops it to Zoey (our dog) who waits patiently below him (notice his arm cleverly reaching over the edge of the tray?

 I turn around because I know what he is doing, and his this is what he looks like-

I say "no" and he gives me this smile-

10:00 am- Time for first nap of the day. He is fed, changed, and exhausted from all of his morning to-do's. I lay him in his crib with a bottle and his eyes start to roll to the back of his head- soooo tired. I close the door, and but 5 minutes later, guess who I hear? I go in to see what his deal is now, and of course, he has pooped, again.  This time, while I'm changing him, he thinks its time for a bath

11:00 am- Tanner wakes up. Who can take longer than an hour to sleep when you have so many things to do right? I feed him (and he reverts back to his clever trick of sharing food with Zoey). We play and play and play. I think that I can get one load of laundry folded, so I lay all of his toys on the ground and let him at it. 2 minutes later I hear him laughing. I look over the couch and he has found Zoey's water bowl. By now, there is no water in the bowl, it is all over him. Silly kid.

1:00- Time for nap #2. Again, he is exhausted. He is nearly asleep as I lay him in his crib. Within 5 minutes he is laughing and jumping. I go in and not too surprisingly anymore, he has pooped. I really do think he does that EVERYTIME he lays down to get out of taking a nap. What 8 month old does that?!?!

And the routine goes on and on and on. That is why I am simply in LOVE with this kid. He knows he's cute and clever(and with a noggin like his how can you not be?), and makes sure everyone else does too :>

Change of Plans

When I was younger, I had my life mapped out. I would graduate high school, go to nursing school, graduate, get married, have kids, and live happily ever after.

Well He had different plans for me. Instead, I met Trevor, became unofficially engaged, graduated high school, got married, started school, had Tanner, and now I am slowly quiting school.

Trevor and I both work full time right now, and we were both going to school full time. Two months of feeling like I never saw Trevor or our sweet boy got old- fast. So, together, Trevor and I decided that it would be best for our family if I put school off until he was done with his program (Spring of 2014).

I believe 100% in obtaining an education, it is just on hold for the moment. We plan on living off of whatever Trevor makes once he starts a career, so we felt that it made more sense to really focus on his schoolwork and allow me more time to spend with Tanner.

While it didn't all happen the way I had planned, I am SOOO glad it turned out how it has. It is hard for me sometimes to be satisfied with how things are now. I would much rather prefer that Trevor be done with school and working so that I don't have to. But we have so many sweet moments together and appreciate the time we have with each other because it is limited. So Goodbye school- see ya in a few years.

Mothers Are The Best

My mom is the best. She flew up with only a few days notice to help me with the T man (Tanner) while Trevor's mom (who usually watches him) went to Utah for the week. She has been here since Friday and will sadly be going home Sunday. Oh how I miss her being close.

This week we have gone out to eat, shopped, done crafts, watched movies, and laughed so hard we've peed our pants... a few times :> (It runs in the family)

She is such a good grandma- she gets on her hands and knees and crawls around on the floor to play with Tanner. She gives him several baths a day, makes sure he is frequently fed (although this is not a problem seeing his size), and above all, makes sure he is happy.

She is an amazing mom. She has done loads upon loads of laundry. She has cleaned bathrooms, cooked meals, cleaned dishes, organized rooms, etc, etc, etc. I love you Mom!

I am also sooo very grateful for my mother-in-law.  Since Tanner was 3 months old, she has watched him while Trevor and I have worked. I know she has athritis, that I'm sure isn't helped at all by taking care of my son, but she has never complained. She has always been willing to help us, and I will never be able to tell her how thankful I am to her.

No matter how old they get, they always take care of their kids, and grandkids. And that's why mothers are the best!